More Income Doesn't Always Build More Wealth

When it comes to your financial health, income is the least important factor. There are millionaires who are miserably in debt!

The Hope of More Money
Assuming I'm normal and that you're normal, I suspect that you (as I once did) assume that the best solution to money problems is more money. That is, if you find yourself struggling to make ends meet, then earning an extra thousand dollars would make all the difference in the world. Sometimes what can help us get through the day is the hope that a life of ease and pleasure is only one lottery ticket, rich uncle or lawsuit victory away.

A Parade Of Poor Decisions
I spent a year and a half as a consumer credit counselor, and during that time I discovered something that I had never fully appreciated before: your financial health isn't even remotely related to your income! I met with over 1,000 families, but learned after only three days on the job that there is no "type" of person who has insurmountable credit card debt, especially not in terms of income. Some earned less than I did and were doing quite well -- their biggest problem was trying to figure out how to tighten their budget to put even more savings aside. Such clients, at any income level, were rare indeed.

I also met several people that earned many multiples of my own income -- one client's annual "bonus" was actually more than my annual salary! But all of that money didn't solve his money problems. It's a logical impossibility -- financial health is built by wise spending, not by extraordinary income.

Working The Other Half Of The Equation
Unfortunately, people get so hung up on the income side of the equation that they begin to feel helpless and hopeless. After all, how much influence do most people really have over their income over the coming week?

But you have far more control over your financial health than you might think.

Financial health is really just a matter of continuing to build savings over time. If you have more money in savings at the end of the month than you had at the beginning of the month, you just got richer. It really is that simple. You just have to look at the other half of the equation.

When you focus on increasing your income, your control over your financial health begins sometime in the future. Your have to wait until you get that raise, get a new job or become famous. But when you focus on your spending, you have immediate control over your financial health beginning today.

Watch Your Spending To See More Savings
The best way to reduce your spending is to start tracking it. When people actually sit down and see how much they are spending, they are horrified. I once bought a couple bottles of pop every day on my way to work. But when I eventually sat down to analyze my spending and saw that I was spending over $40 a month on pop, I don't need to tell you that I began to improve my financial health right then and there.

When you analyze your spending with the understanding that every dollar you don't spend is making you richer, you naturally begin to make wise financial decisions. So, are you going to end this month richer or poorer?

Also At Babblermouth:
Financial Freedom Series 1 -- Cause and Effect
Financial Freedom Series 2 -- The Value of Values
Financial Freedom Series 3 -- Money

From My Bookshelf:


This classic book shows, through a series of parables, how to dig out of seemingly impossible debt while at the same time becoming very wealthy. It is a small book, densely packed with financial wisdom.

Poker: It's Not About The Money

The more I play it, the more I become convinced that Poker is the finest card game on the table. It has an unfortunate stigma because of its ties with gambling (which can be devastating when abused), but that stigma us undeserved. Poker is a remarkable game that perfectly blends both skill and chance, and can be thoroughly enjoyed without even one penny exchanging hands.

It's Not About Money

I of course cannot ignore that one of the biggest draws of poker is the high-stakes poker that you can watch on TV. Anytime hundreds of thousands of dollars, or even millions of dollars change hands within the span of only a few minutes, you have yourself a pretty exciting spectacle.

While the prospect of winning money through some well-played gaming is certainly enticing, my experience has proven that the game can be very engaging without even one penny changing hands. In fact, I've never played poker for money. I prefer it that way. By focusing only on winning the game and not on winning the money, I am able to play my best and learn from my mistakes, while avoiding having to actually pay for my mistakes.

The Mark of a Good Game

I am a game-playing fool. Whether it's video games, board games, parlor games or mind games, you can talk me into playing anything once. And if it's a great game, I risk becoming obsessed with it!

So, what makes a game great? I think it is best defined as the perfect mix of simplicity, challenge and luck. Poker scores high on every measure.

Simplicity

Let's face it. If a game has too many rules, you eventually find yourself spending more time thinking about the rules than about playing the game. Go Fish, for instance, is remarkably easy to explain to somebody (which is why it's such a popular children's game). Many collectible card games such as Magic The Gathering or the now defunct Star Wars game produced by Decipher, however, tend to dilute what are initially simple rules with the introduction of new expansion sets that either update the rules or present new exceptions.

The most difficult part of learning to play Poker is understanding the ranks of hands. That process is dealt with simply by providing newcomers with a list of the relative values. Betting is easy enough to understand, too: when it's your turn, you match the previous bid (if there is one) or increase the bid. It's not Go Fish or 52-Card Pick-up, but Poker is easily learned in only a few minutes.

Challenge
Learning to play it well, however, is another story. In poker, you learn quickly that even though you understand the rules, there are still volumes of information about the game that you have yet to learn! To play well, you need to develop a number of skills that challenge you to amass the fullest strength of your powers of concentration. Slip up at all and you'll lose to somebody else that's paying better attention to details.

It surprises people to learn that poker is very much a game of skill. Things like understanding probability, remembering what cards have been played, discovering the other player's betting styles and being careful not to keep your own playing style a secret can certainly keep you on your toes!

For me, the allure of poker is that in the end, the actual value of your hand doesn't matter. If you aren't playing well, you could win $10 with four aces, and lose $1000 in the next round to somebody that only has a pair of kings!

Luck
But what would poker be without the element of luck? I would argue that luck is that part of the game that keeps people coming back to it. Luck gives a weaker player the hope that he can still win, while at the same time keeping even the most experienced players humbled.

To understand the importance of luck, consider chess. Chess involves no luck whatsoever (unless you count those times when your opponent doesn't recognize that he can checkmate you in two moves). Assuming that both players know the rules of chess, it becomes only a game of strategy versus strategy. If you are playing a significantly better player, you have no chance of winning. And if you've played a significantly better player, you will know what I mean!

With poker, however, it's quite easy to have a scenario where a clumsy player has been playing recklessly throughout the game. A better player then gets it in his head to teach the careless player a lesson and ropes him into betting more and more until finally he's "all-in". But when the cards are turned over, the reckless player takes it all!

The Perfect Mix
So, there you have it. Poker is the perfect card game because it's a perfect blending of simplicity, challenge and luck. And most importantly, you don't even need to risk any real money to enjoy the game (you do, however, have to really want to win).

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Financial Freedom Series 1 -- Cause And Effect

Jaywalking: So What?

I have a confession to make. The "Jaywalking" segment on NBC's The Tonight Show used to really worry me. Watching and listening to the ignorance demonstrated by the people in those segments used to actually create physical pain in me and a very real fear about the future of America.

But now I'm not so concerned.

Unapologetic Ignorance
For those of you who might not be familiar with Jaywalking, the premise is simple: Jay Leno interviews random people on the street, asking them simple questions like "can you name three American presidents?" Invariably, he finds clueless people who, rather than admitting that they can't name three American presidents, announce with total sincerity "Martin Sheen, Ben Franklin and Winston Churchill."

What horrified me about Jaywalking was not that the people seemed ignorant, but that they didn't even have enough sense to be ashamed or embarrassed by that fact.

A Need To Know Basis
I've lightened up since then, beginning with asking a very important question: "So what?"

So what if you don't know who any of America's presidents were? So what if you don't know what countries border America? So what if you can't point to America on the globe?

Frankly, in the scope of all those things that truly matter, those things don't matter.

In life, there are things you need to know, and there are things you don't need to know. I was no longer annoyed by what I once saw as unapologetic ignorance, because what shame is there in not knowing something you don't need to know?

The Circle Of Influence
What, then, qualifies as something you need to know? The answer is simple. By focusing on those things that are within your circle of influence, you discover those things that you absolutely, positively must know (and must know well)! Anything else falls into the category of good to know, nice to know, and may-never-need-too-know.

I was introduced to the circle of influence by Stephen Covey's book, "The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People." The idea is that there are things you can influence and there are things that you either can't influence or have very little power to influence. As much as we may want world peace, most of us have very little power to influence that. Peace within our own homes, however, is very much within our circle of influence.

In the same sense, knowing a lot about something you will never experience or use has very little practical value. There is nothing wrong with knowing a little or even a lot about things outside of your circle of influence, but if it comes at the cost of knowledge about things you should be focusing much more attention to, then it becomes a problem.

Truly Shameless Ignorance
As you can see now, my frustration with the ignorance of people featured on Jaywalking was misplaced.

Truly shameless ignorance is to be ignorant of those things that do matter. The things within your circle of influence certainly matter the most, for they belong to that part of your world that suffers the most noticeably as a direct result of your action or inaction.

If I were to conduct an experiment Jaywalking-style, it might go something like this:

(I pull aside some random guy on the street)
Babblermouth: Excuse me, can I ask you a few questions? It'll be painless, just a little social experiment...
Guy: (Glances at his watch) Sure, but I only have about five minutes.
Babblermouth: Great, I'll keep it fast. The first question is, do you have any children?
Guy: Yes, a boy and a girl.
Babblermouth: Ok, thanks. Are they in school?
Guy: Yes, our oldest is in 3rd grade, and youngest just started kindergarten this year.
Babblermouth: And what are their favorite subjects in school?
Guy: (Winces, then chuckles uncomfortably) I, uh...I guess I don't know.
Babblermouth: That's ok. Are you married?
Guy: I sure am, for fifteen years now.
Babblermouth: Congratulations. Where does your wife want to go for your next vacation?
Guy: Oh, man. (Tries hard to think before finally shrugging his shoulders) I don't know.
Babblermouth: No problem, one last question. What are the major goals you're trying to accomplish in the next 5 years?
Guy: (After a long, uncomfortable silence) I'm sorry, I really need to get going or I'll be late for work.
Babblermouth: Well, thanks for your time...somehow, this wasn't as funny as when Jay does it!

I don't know about you, but I find something terribly sad about this kind of ignorance.

Are you shamelessly ignorant when it comes to your circle of influence? Have you neglected it for too long, or taken it for granted? If so, take a moment right now to increase your knowledge where it really matters. Talk to the ones you love, and be amazed at how much there is to learn about them. It will be the best thing you've ever done for yourself -- and for the people in your circle.


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Write Less To Write Best

The days of the classic writers are gone. It is no longer acceptable to use 10 adjectives to describe every noun, as Dickens or Melville once did. (But can you blame them? If I were paid by the word, I'd describe the heck out of everything, too.)

More Is Not Better
The goal of writing is to convey a message. People -- especially people on the internet -- are becoming increasingly impatient, so you must convey your message quickly and clearly. And that means using as few words as possible and the best words possible.

As an example, look to your own reading habits. How often do you linger on a web page if all you see is a dense block of text? How much introduction do you tolerate before you demand substance? In the modern age of writing, the rule is clear: don't use 50 words to say what 10 words can.

You can improve your writing immensely by improving your use of description and by eliminating pointless introductory or qualifying phrases.

Fewer (and Better) Details
Your use of detail has a powerful impact on your writing. A writer quickly learns that all words are not equal -- some words are worth five to ten words!

For instance, if I were to send you an invitation to "a party at my house", how much would you know about the party? You'd know only that it exists, right?

But what if I sent you an invitation to "a kegger at my house"? Here I've used the same number of words, but I've communicated a lot more information! You can now make a lot of assumptions about the party. You would expect, for instance, a raucous party filled with booming music and obnoxious revelry. Around midnight, somebody's likely to be dancing on the end table, and the police will be escorting the minors out of the house by 3 A.M. (As an aside, you'd also figure I was joking, since I hate such parties and certainly wouldn't want the responsibility of hosting one.)

In this case, "kegger" is worth several words. By packing specificity into individual words, your writing becomes crisp and interesting without appearing overly descriptive.

Say It Boldly
Timid writing also threatens your message. Too often, needless introductory phrases or qualifiers weaken the message or destroy its clarity.

Consider this sentence: It may surprise you to know it, but I'm able to fly around the room by flapping my arms like a bird.

What purpose does the introductory phrase "It may surprise you to know it" serve? Does it convey any useful information? No! Of course it would surprise you to know it -- flying around the room by flapping your arms just isn't normal. The reader doesn't have to be told that it's surprising, because the statement is surprising in and of itself.

Qualifiers are also dangerous to your message. Consider the sentence, "I normally think that most people are usually pretty nice at times." What's the message in that sentence? Who could know? A bolder statement would be "I think people are generally nice." Bolder still would be "Most people are nice."

If your message is important enough to share with others, it's important enough to share boldly. After all, who would share your opinion if even you are ashamed of it?

The Proper Time and Place
Before you turn to something you've previously written and decimate the word count, remember that there is a proper time and place for details. At all times, you must keep the overall message in mind. Anything you can do to share that message with your reader, do it. But be aware of those things that may get in the way of sharing that message, such as clumsy phrasing or being timid about your message.

In his book, On Writing, Stephen King tells of the best writing advice he received, which I will paraphrase as: trim your first draft by ten percent.

This is fantastic advice. By condensing what you've written, you force out that weak writing that dilutes your message's potency. It also gives you persmission to trust that most of what you've written is actually usable.

As you can see, you are not on the hunt for a smaller word count for its own sake -- you are on the hunt for a smaller word count for the message's sake. By using the message as your guide, you ensure that your writing stays interesting and informative, even while concise.

Also At Babblermouth

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7 Habits Of Highly Effective People...In Haiku

Writing A Novel Is Impossible, Then Easy, Then Challenging

The Other Side Of Quitting

As I said in last week's article, any real change in our habits requires a change within ourselves. Quitting smoking, then, isn't about smoking -- it's about ourselves.

The Trouble With Negative Goals
Your ability to visualize the completion of a goal has a powerful effect on your ability to actually succeed at that goal. The theory is that if you can picture something in your mind with great clarity, you are already more than halfway there. It's like the difference between driving to Seattle with a map in your hand and a red line drawn on the roads you will be using versus simply hopping in the car, driving west and hoping for the best.

But what about negative goals? What about those goals where the aim is to not do something, like not wasting money, not eating too much or not smoking?

Negative goals create a unique problem, because they cannot be visualized. Negation is too abstract to visualize. We are engineered to imagine what is and what can be, not what isn't and cannot be. We can imagine light, but what about the absence of light? When we imagine the absence of light, are we not really visualizing darkness? When we visualize a person who is not kind, don't we really just see somebody who is mean?

How then are you to succeed in your goal to quit smoking, if it is impossible to visualize not smoking?

Visualizing Negative Goals
Because of the nature of negative goals, the necessity to change who we are becomes even more evident. In every case, our goal is not actually what we want to give up or end (the negative goal), but is actually what we want to receive or gain as the result of success (a positive goal). We don't want to lose, we want to gain.

This is a subtle difference, but a profound one. A negative goal, in essence, is merely a reflection of the true goal. When we seek to lose weight (a negative goal), we are actually trying to increase our health or improve our appearance (positive goals). When we seek to avoid slouching in business meetings, we are actually trying to improve our professional image and poise.

The Reflection of "Not Smoking"
So, what about smoking? When we seek to quit smoking, we are actually looking to improve our health. I would not have believed it when I was going through the process, but I now know it is surely true. The easiest way to observe this is this: when you visualize healthy living, smoking (among other things) never enters the picture!

As you can imagine, the whole process becomes easier once the negative goal of quitting smoking transforms into its true goal of creating a healthy lifestyle. You then have an easily visualized picture of what "not smoking" looks like: being healthy.

The Road Ahead
In my previous article, I showed how to crack the psychological desire to smoke. That first method, believe me, is effective in and of itself. However, you will notice that it does not do anything to address the true goal of quitting smoking: the goal to develop healthy habits. Because of this, if you do not seek to develop positive habits to replace your negative one, you will find a dull anxiety gnawing at you...and it feels a lot like cravings for a cigarette!

Most people smoke as a means of combating stress. Now that your healthy lifestyle does not include smoking, what will you do? If you do not make plans to build a healthy alternative into your lifestyle, you will surely fall into an unhealthy one!

Visualizing A Positive Future
How do you set the foundation for a brighter, healthier future? The process is much like the one you used to shatter your desire to smoke. But the emotional process is the exact opposite from before, because you will feel fantastic by the end.

This time, though, you will build your own future. As you are visualizing a happier, healthier you, consider these questions:

• In what healthy way will you now handle stress?
• How will your loved ones benefit from your healthy lifestyle?
• How will your energy levels change, and what activities will you now be able to do?
• How will taking an interest in your health impact your self-esteem?
• You've given up smoking...what have you gained?

By the time you are done with this exercise, you will feel like you haven't smoked in ten years, and would never consider doing so again.

Enjoy the new you.

Also At Babblermouth:
You've Come A Long Way, Baby!
A Mentor For The Hopelessly Introverted
Financial Freedom Series 1 -- Cause and Effect

The Easy Way To Quit Smoking (Without Patches or Gimmicks)

Forget patches, hypnotists and insulting public service announcements. Quitting smoking could be easier than you think. It was for me...

Why Most Methods Don't Work
First of all, let's not kid ourselves. Quitting smoking is obviously not easy, as evidenced by the sheer number of smokers who have quit smoking, only to return to it within days, months or even years.

But the problem isn't that the smoking habit is insurmountable. The problem is that many of the methods for quitting smoking are inadequate. Indeed, all unsuccessful methods share one thing in common: they attempt to change the smoking, and not the smoker!

A Hard Fact About The Easy Way
Albert Einstein once said, The problems that exist in the world cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them. The problem of overcoming smoking is no different. You will be a different person after quitting than you were when you were a smoker.

This is perhaps the most difficult part about quitting smoking, and is the reason behind many failed attempts. You see, smoking is not only a habit, it is an identity. When you tell people that you are a smoker, you aren't merely describing a habit -- you're describing an image! Quitting smoking, then, denies you access to that image. And smoking is an image that, for some people, is too precious to give up.

A Mental Game
Because of this, quitting smoking is very much a mental game, far more than it is a physical one.

Not a physical problem, you might ask? What about cravings, or the agony of withdrawal? Here again, the mind reigns supreme; how can the body ache for what the mind does not crave?

Now, I'm not speaking merely about philosophy or theory. I'm talking about a technique that my own experience proves. I quit cold-turkey, and suffered no withdrawal and no cravings. In fact, I have not even had the slightest interest in smoking ever since.

Such a remarkable turnaround is possible only after the mental game has been won. Once the mental game is won, the physical need to smoke is crushed.

Winning The Mental Game
So, how is the mental game won? It is won through the use of emotive visualization, peering into a dark and hopeless future and seizing the power to change it now.

This method is based on the pleasure/pain principle made popular by Anthony Robbins. The idea is to attach the utmost pain to smoking, and to recognize the pleasure that awaits you in a smoke-free life.

By winning the mental game, withdrawal symptoms simply do not occur. Once you have associated enough pain with the smoking habit, the only time you feel sick is when you think about smoking!

Ultimate Pain
Smokers, contrary to what public service commercials seem to suggest, are not stupid. They know that smoking isn't healthy. But smokers associate enough pleasure with smoking that, psychologically, it simply isn't worth quitting. Employing the ultimate pain principle, however, tips those scales dramatically!

The first step is to build a powerful image in your mind of exactly how painful smoking can and will be to you. Don't skimp on the details, and be sure to be brutally honest. Take the approach of "anything bad that can happen, will happen".

Here's an example of what I visualized:

I imagine that I'm looking in a mirror. This isn't a regular mirror, though. Instead of looking at myself, I am looking at myself 30 years from now. And what I see is ghastly! I am shriveled and frail. I am sitting in a wheelchair and must carry an oxygen tank with me. I can't speak at a normal volume, for any effort to speak brings about a wicked coughing spasm, which then makes it difficult to breathe -- and my regular breathing is labored as it is! I feel an emptyness as I think of the things that I shall never do, like traveling. Not only can I not go to distant lands, but even going to the local grocery store is a herculean effort. I ache with sympathy for the being I see in the mirror, my soul yearns to offer comfort or help. Then, my future self looks at me right in the eye and asks,full of anger -- full of hatred -- why did you do this to me?

If you do this right, you will never smoke again! I say the process is easy, but emotionally it can actually be quite draining. You are essentially subjecting yourself to a lifetime of pain in a very short period of time. But it is certainly worth it!

As I mentioned earlier, permanently quitting smoking literally changes who you are. In my next article, I will show you how to manage the transition from being a smoker to being a non-smoker.

Also at Babblermouth:
Who Are You?
Financial Freedom Series 1 -- Cause and Effect
The Next Big Challenge

You've Come A Long Way, Baby!

Well, another New Year's Day has come and gone. You've probably been reflecting on your life a lot lately, if only because this is the time that many other people choose to do exactly that! But where have those thoughts taken you?

A Brighter Future From A Darker Past
When people are planning a brighter future, they often find themselves looking at a dark past. Why do you want to get a new job? Isn't it because your current job just isn't satisfying you any more and the work is now longer worth the money they pay you? Why do you want to lose weight? Isn't it because you've looked in the mirror and were disgusted by what you've found? Why do you want to quit smoking? Isn't it because you've become shocked and humbled by your lack of self-control and have begun to notice some frightening health problems?

Since so many of our goals are predicated on a dark past, setting goals can be very discouraging. But this discouragement is unavoidable. You cannot set a path in a direction you want to go until you understand why you don't want to be where you are.

Half The Motivation
The question is, how do you motivate yourself to move in that new direction? Certainly the need to leave those negative emotions behind you can provide a lot of energy to fuel your march toward a new you. But the nudge of a negative past only provides half of the motivation you will need to accomplish your goal.

This, I believe, lies at the heart of all failed New Year's resolutions. How can you step into a brighter future with confidence if you have seen yourself only as a failed specimen? The answer is that it cannot be done. The negative energy of the past is not enough to create a new you. You must also discover your glorious past.

A Chance Discovery
I am frequently drawn to journaling. I don't journal consistently, but about every six months I feel the urge to write down my assessment of who I am, what I'm doing and what I want.

One day, after writing a very negative and frustrated entry in my journal, I happened to flip back and read an entry from nearly 5 years before.

As it turned out, that was also a frustrated and desperate entry. But I was shocked to find that every single problem that I complained about in that entry had been resolved over the next 5 years!

I laughed when I read that I feared I would never be able to quit smoking, because I knew that I did eventually quit -- and easily at that! I was ashamed to be a college dropout and believed that the opportunity had passed me by forever, but I returned to college only a year after I wrote that and eventually graduated. I was frustrated with my career, but I finally found exactly the kind of job I was looking for.

That journal entry was liberating!

Finding a Shining Past
By realizing how easily I had overcome things that at one time seemed insurmountable to me, I found that my confidence grew by a factor of ten! Instantly, I found the things that I had just finished complaining about in my journal's newest entry were no longer a burden. I knew I could overcome obstacles, even if they seemed impossible to me, because I had already done it in the past.

If you are having trouble finding the motivation to succeed at your resolutions this year, do yourself a favor. Take a moment right now and search for your bright, shining past. Yes, there are things about the past that you do not like.

But force yourself also to recognize that you have already come a long way. You will find moments in your history that show you at your best, able to confidently face great challenges and overcome them with ease.

And that bright, shining past will give you the power to build the brighter future you seek.

Also At Babblermouth:
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Financial Freedom Series 1 -- Cause and Effect
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