October 30, 2007

A Mentor For The Hopelessly Introverted

You are only moments away from discovering the most intuitive teacher you will ever have access to...

A mentor can be a valuable resource for when you need to adjust your attitude, view your life from a different perspective or reflect on surprising new insights. Turning to a person that you respect and that has the wisdom to help you grow is a vital component to your continued success. If you are an introvert like me, however, you may have found that it's quite difficult to find valuable mentors in your life, if only because you don't meet many people.

Fortunately, your most effective mentor may not even be a person!

A number of years ago, I picked up an intriguing technique from Peter McWilliams's book, "Life 101." The only prerequisite is that you need to be comfortable with meditation. Once you have reached a state of relaxed concentration, then the fun begins!

Every student needs a school, so your first task is to visualize a place where you can go to relax and to learn. One of the best techniques is to imagine you are walking down a long hallway, and you come to a door. As you put your hand to the doorknob, you realize that you will soon open the door to your perfect place for mental relaxation and refreshment -- a personal sanctuary. Then, open the door and let your mental sanctuary appear.

This is a matter of discovery rather than construction, so it shouldn't feel forced. What you find should come as no surprise, for it is such a natural and obvious reflection of yourself. It is not an "aha" moment so much as it is an "oh...of course" moment.

Your classroom/sanctuary need not be indoors. While some people might imagine a cozy study in an old Victorian home, others might imagine an isolated spot on the beach. Some people might imagine a combination of interior and exterior locations. My perfect place is a clearing in a birch forest with a babbling brook trickling through it. There is a simple wooden bridge over the brook that leads to a modest cabin. The cabin itself is a single room, barren of all furniture and decoration. It is bright, clean, and quiet. Ah, I feel relaxed just thinking about it.

Now that you've found your classroom, you need a teacher. That is an easy process, for you find your teacher the same way you found your classroom. When you are ready to meet your new mentor, imagine a doorway across the room from you. If your classroom is an exterior location, you can still imagine a door a few feet in front of you...after all, we're working in the realm of imagination. You see the doorknob turn, and are struck by the realization that your perfect mentor is about to come into the room. Then, watch the door open and allow your mentor to appear.

As with your classroom, this is a discovery instead of a creation. It will again be anti-climatic because it suits you so perfectly and obviously. But, even though you may not be surprised by your mentor, your mentor may very well be surprising. Your mentor may be somebody you know, or your mentor might not even be a person at all! It's quite possible for an owl to fly through the door, if that's what represents your perfect mentor.

And now, with your mentor at hand, you can begin your learning. What should you ask your mentor? He (or she, or it) is open to any question you have, but is such an amazing resource that you'll find you don't want to waste petty questions on him. You will find that, in a state of relaxed awareness, the right questions come easily. As always, it is best not to "sweat the small stuff." How you work with your mentor will grow and adjust just as you will.

Your greatest challenge may be adjusting to your mentor's style of responses. Mine rarely gives me direct answers, but instead asks thought-provoking questions that get to the heart of the matter. Or, in especially obscure moments, my mentor directs me somewhere else for answers. In response to the question how can I become more successful, my mentor replied, consider the leaves of the trees, or the water in the stream. Upon considering the water, I realized that if a river stops moving, it becomes stagnant and putrefied. I was getting lazy when a healthy, vibrant life is one of action. Considering the leaves reminded me that actions alone are insignificant. A leaf by itself withers and blows away, but it is full of life when connected to the tree. Any action is more effective when it is part of something larger. Having active goals, then, helps maximize the value of all of your actions.

Earth-shaking? Hardly. These insights are not special. Obviously, success is the result of action. Of course goals help you to achieve more. But the value of this exercise is that it reminds you of the exact things you need to be reminded of right when you need to be reminded of them.

In retrospect, my mentor has always provided the best possible responses to all of my questions. After all, great mentors don't teach you new things. Great mentors challenge you to apply what you already know.

Also At Babblermouth:
Image Streaming: Here Goes!
The Next Big Challenge
Who Are You?

October 23, 2007

Fools Have Answers, Intellectuals Have The Questions

Young children are the masters of questions. And for good reason - they have had very little experience in the world, and are doing the best they can to catch up. They realize that they don't know it all, and they ask questions in order to learn more about the world around them.

And now, here's a question for you to consider: at what point did you stop questioning like a child?

Sadly, many of us no longer have the capacity to ask questions like children. The causes are many. Some of us may feel self conscious about asking questions because we don't want people to know that we don't know something. Some of us may have grown weary of questioning because we have found that answers only lead to more questions. Others of us have given up on questioning for its apparent futility - not everything can be known. And others among us, albeit subconsciously, actually feel that we know all there is to know.

When looking back on the great creative geniuses of history, however, we find that they all share a common love of questioning. The status-quo is never good enough and their curiosity, like that of a child, was unquenchable.

By contrast, many famously bad predictions were delivered very matter-of-factly. They were spoken with the force of one who had ultimate knowledge, but in the course of time would be proved extraordinarily false.

Allow me to propose a notion that could rekindle your child-like need to question.

Consider the possibility that questions are not merely a search for answers. Questions do not exist only to increase our understanding, but to open a much larger door to the future. Questions, when used effectively, activate the ability for possibility thinking. This function of questioning has led to every great technological and sociological advancement in the world's history.

Possibility thinking begins with replacing the classic fact-finding children's question of why with the more powerful question, what if:
  • What if nations were ruled by their citizens?

  • What if people could fly?

  • What if people all over the world could communicate with each other easily?

  • What if we could mimic the sun's power to provide electricity?

  • What if we could build an elevator into space?

"What if" lies at the heart of all progress. If you look around you, you will find that the people with the most influence and the most success are the ones that ask the best questions.

Also at Babblermouth:
Who Are You?
Financial Freedom Series 1 - Cause and Effect
Fun With Truisms

October 18, 2007

7 Habits of Highly Effective People...In Haiku

Haiku, as you may know, is a Japanese poetry form that traditionally is only three lines long. The first line has five syllables, the second has seven and the third line has five. This form leads to incredibly terse statements that, remarkably, still deliver the message. In a recent presentation I gave at work on Stephen Covey's classic book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", I summarized each of the seven habits as a haiku. Here's what I came up with...

1. Be Proactive
Be responsible:
Don’t blame you and don’t blame “them”.
Action is the key.

2. Begin With The End In Mind
Select your goal first,
Then your path is determined.
Now, take your first step!

3. Put First Things First
Prioritize it:
Do first what is important,
Then do all the rest.

4. Think Win/Win
This is what I want:
We both get what we both want.
(That is the best way.)

5. Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood
Listen intently,
Never, never, ever speak.
Then, speak a little.

6. Synergize
I am only one.
One is also all you are.
But combined, we’re three!

7. Sharpen The Saw
Busy, busy, oh!
Stop, relax and be refreshed.
That’s how you’ll improve.

I hope you enjoyed those, they were fun to write! I also learned more about each of these concepts in the process of trying to find 17 syllables that would best explain them. And so, the moral of the story is this: to understand a thing better, put it under a different light.

Also At Babblermouth:

October 10, 2007

If War Isn't The Answer, Perhaps You Misunderstood The Question

When the American embassy in Kenya was attacked, Muslim terrorists posed a question to our nation. When the U.S.S. Cole was bombed, Muslim terrorists posed a question to our nation. When Muslim terrorists destroyed the lives of thousands of Americans by flying passenger jets into the Word Trade Center towers, they posed the same question to our nation: can the "great Satan" of the West, America, be destroyed?

America has made its answer, and continues to answer by way of the "war on terrorism". Naturally, there are some who protest, saying war is not the answer. Such a sentiment is completely understandable. War truly is Hell, and only a pure psychotic would gleefully and joyfully wage war. I, for one, fervently wish that war would never be necessary. Sadly, however, there are circumstances when war must be fought. And I believe the threat of terrorism represents one such circumstance.

Since war is so distasteful, it obviously must be used as a last resort. But to say that war isn't the answer implicitly means that other options are not only available but also viable. Sadly, in the case of the war on terrorism, this is not the case. Consider the following alternatives:

Ignore the threat. This actually has been our approach in the past. It is the perfect reaction to threats in most cases, because often they are only that -- threats. When those threats turn to action, however, they can no longer be ignored. Terrorism against America has continued for years upon years. The attacks of 9/11 show that, if anything, terroristic action is escalating. Clearly, ignoring the threat will not make it go away. Ignoring terrorism is no longer a viable option.

Diplomacy. This is the alternative that everybody would prefer. In civil disagreements, merely sitting down and talking things over can usually resolve the conflict. Unfortunately, terroristic threats do not constitute a civil disagreement. In addition to requiring a degree of civil respect between parties, the success of diplomacy depends on the goals of the negotiating parties. Sadly, the stated goal of terrorist groups such as Al-Qaeda is the destruction of America and the death of its people. Perhaps such statements are merely hyperbole, but their actions certainly seem to confirm their absolute commitment to the stated goal. Assuming that Americans value their lives (I know I do), diplomacy with terrorist groups is doomed to fail because the outcome is unacceptable. When one party wishes only for the destruction of the other party, no negotiation can succeed. Diplomacy, therefore, is not a viable option.

Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. This method is strictly defensive. Rather than fighting a war, we can focus our efforts on reducing the impact of future attacks and in noticing warning signs in the hope of preventing such attacks. I believe a sports analogy works well here. After all, you have two groups in opposition, each with goals they wish to accomplish and each hoping to emerge victorious. With that in mind, ask yourself if a team that plays only defense has any chance of winning? Defense is important, but it doesn't win the game. If our only approach to terrorism is to play defense, we will eventually be defeated. An effective defense only postpones that defeat. Defense is a vital component of the war on terrorism, but is not a viable response in and of itself.

Sadly, begrudgingly and resolutely wage war. The last option, and the only viable option under the circumstances, is to actively fight against the threat of terrorism. Make no mistake, it is an ugly choice. Lives will be lost. We have already lost fathers, brothers and sons in the war. We have already lost mothers, sisters and daughters in the war. But we know that their sacrifice has helped to protect the lives of the people they love. They know that their selflessness will offer better protection than ignoring terrorism will, better than negotiating with terrorists will and better than preparing for the next terrorist attack will.

Even as the most viable option, the war on terrorism has its problems. It would be naive to think otherwise. Like victory, for instance. Logically, the war against terrorism must continue as long as terrorists live. It's reasonable to expect that terrorists will always exist, so then victory is impossible, correct? Well, not so fast.

Our war is against the threat of terrorism. It is not a pollyannish quest to eliminate terrorists, but to inhibit their power to destroy. As the investigation of the 9/11 attacks shows, large-scale terrorism (the kind we are concerned about) is not easy. It takes enormous preparation and coordination. By actively fighting terrorists, they now must use their time protecting their own lives (which dramatically reduces the amount of time they can spend plotting the destruction of innocent lives elsewhere).

The war on terror is not a war of vengeance. We have left many, many terrorist attacks unanswered in the past. The attacks of 9/11 were not the reason for the war -- they were the last straw. It was the final event that showed to us, once and for all, that peace not only isn't the answer, it's not even an option. Terrorist groups such as Al-Qaeda hate us not for what we've done, but for who we are. The war on terror, therefore, is a war to protect our countrymen both here and abroad from those who mean to do them harm.

The question has been posed. And, as distasteful as it may be, war is the only answer that responds, plainly and firmly, "NO!"

Also At Babblermouth:
Where Have All The Parents Gone?
Fun With Truisms
Financial Freedom Series 2 -- The Value of Values

October 3, 2007

A Map That's "Good Enough"

I have a map on my wall from about the 17th century (a replica, that is), and here's what I love about it: it was a perfectly useful map in its time, even though it wasn't 100% accurate. I like to keep that in mind when I feel my perfectionism creeping in.

Perfectionism can be a dreadful disease. Although it may not officially kill anybody, it prevents them from living. Life is action -- and perfectionism, when it reaches extremes, prevents people from taking action for fear of not performing perfectly.

Perfection seems like a worthy goal, but this lofty ideal is also its downfall. Unfortunately, perfection, in any field and in all capacities, is not possible. Excellence is possible. Virtuosity is possible. But perfection? Not in this lifetime! Perfectionists fail even before they begin because they are dedicated to accomplishing a goal that cannot be done.

So, what's a perfectionist to do? Well, there are 3 things that may help:

  1. Remember the imperfect map. Ancient maps needed only to get a sailor from one port to another without ramming into the shore. They didn't need to be accurate by inches but by miles. After all, the sailors could look for themselves once they knew they were getting close. When you do something, remember that you are doing it for a specific purpose. As long as the purpose is fulfilled, mission accomplished. Anything beyond that is nice, but unnecessary. Make sure you aren't letting details bog you down that, when looked at from a mission viewpoint, don't actually impact the project.

  2. Love to improvise. Nothing goes according to plan, even with the best plans. Be prepared to make adjustments along the way. So, since you'll be making changes along the way, why not just get started now? The world's greatest masterpieces (some of which come very close to perfection) were not created in a single attempt. Paintings and sculptures are created by "roughing-in" the basic form and then fine-tuning it a little bit at a time. Remember, it's the final product that matters, not the middle product or the fledgeling product. All (near) perfect projects start as absolutely imperfect projects.

  3. Let go. Perfectionism is rooted in self-consciousness and a fear of looking foolish. I know, I've been there. And there's an old joke that may prove useful in this regard: you wouldn't care what people thought of you if you realized how rarely they do. I know, it sounds harsh. But really, everybody else is too busy managing their own lives to pay much attention to yours. So you're free to get out there and take a chance. If you mess up, not many people will notice -- and of the ones that notice, not a single one will remember it a year from now. Then, you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue to adjust (remember, you love to improvise now) until you get it right.

Babblermouth is far from perfect. As I look at it, there are many things that I want to fix and so many improvements that can be made to it. Over time, they'll get done. In the past, I might have waited until I had the perfect design before I wrote my first post (and would have, of course, waited until my first post was perfect before posting it). But I made the leap. After all, the point of blogging is to share your ideas with readers -- and that's getting done.


Also at Babblermouth:
Fun With Truisms
Who Are You?
3 Things: Time Management For Scatterbrains

October 1, 2007

The Next Big Challenge

Ok, so you've mastered time management. You can pack more accomplishment into one day than most people can put into a week. Now you are ready for a real challenge: do nothing.

If you've never tried meditation before, you are missing one of the biggest challenges you will ever face. Now, I'm not talking about meditation as a mystical or spiritual practice. This article is about meditation as a relaxation technique and a method for training the mind for which there is no equal.

The goal is deceptively simple: All you need to do is sit still and try to focus solely on one thing or to avoid focusing on any one thing. No problem, right? Wrong! In my experience, nobody ever meditates well the first time.

To try your first meditation, sit comfortably and close your eyes. Sit down as though you never intend to get back up. Some people may insist that you cross your legs or hold your hands in very specific ways, but the only thing that I've found matters is keeping good posture -- it helps you to breathe more deeply. Your only task in this first exercise is to count your breaths from 1 to 9, and repeat counting from 1 to 9 until your time is up. Set a timer for 10 minutes (one with a gentle alarm if you can...after all, this is about relaxation) for your first attempt.

The biggest surprise for people new to meditation is just how easily distracted an untrained mind can be. Here is an example of a typical first try: breathe in...breathe out...1...hmm, I wonder if I turned the coffee pot off -- BZZT! You just lost your focus. Trying again, breathe in...breathe out...1...breathe in...breathe out...2...wow, I got to "2" without losing my focus -- BZZT! You did it again.

Yes, it's frustrating. And over the course of 10 minutes, it is extremely unlikely that you can get to "9" without getting distracted. Eventually, however, you find that those random thoughts diminish until finally your mind does what you direct it to, and only what you direct it to. This is a territory unlike any other you may have experienced, and an extraordinary paradox -- you will be at once both fully relaxed and yet completely focused! And once you've been there, you will want to return!

Like any skill, meditation becomes easier with practice. In a first attempt, you may not even reach that point of relaxed concentration. Over time, however, you become able to access it at will.

So, how do you "use" meditation? On the surface, it can look like meditation does nothing. But, do not forget that the seeds of all action are rooted in the mind. It is in this sense that meditation helps you be even more effective when you are not meditating. By creating focused, clear thinking, you set the foundation for focused, clear action. Relaxed concentration is also the optimal mental state for problem solving. If you are having trouble accomplishing a goal, get into a state of relaxed concentration and then direct your thinking toward finding a solution. You will find that those solutions are more elegant than any attempts you may have made in the past!

As a final thought, consider this: if you feel like you are too busy to attempt meditation, you may need to try it now more than ever!

Also At Babblermouth:
Financial Freedom Series 1 -- Cause and Effect
Fun With Truisms